It was 8 years ago today when we went to our big ultrasound with Daniel. I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
I remember the sonographer being less light-hearted than usual. I remember her setting down her instruments and saying, “I’ve got to be honest, you guys, I have some concerns.”
I remember Charlie asking, in the sweetest 4-year-old voice, “Is it a brother?”
I remember waiting to see the doctor and feeling overcome with peace. Not knowing what we were dealing with yet, but knowing we could handle whatever we had to.
I remember the doctor telling us that there were hundreds of types of dwarfism, but that some of them were lethal and we’d need to follow up with the maternal-fetal medicine office at the hospital. I remember how my doctor’s office went way out of their way to get us an appointment the very next day.
I remember coming home that night and standing alone in my kitchen. Looking around and feeling like everything looked different somehow. Like my whole world just changed.
Everybody goes through really hard things at some point in their lives. I know that. This was our big one, so far. It’s hard to believe it was 8 whole years ago, but it also seems like another lifetime ago.
The months that followed were so hard, but also so special. Months of prayers, tests, and lots of phone calls and texts from the people who loved us.
I remember looking down at my big belly, watching him wiggle around like any other baby, and pleading with him to, “Please just be okay, baby.”
I sure love and miss him. ❤️
